Cat and Dog on a Whale
by MeanderCat
Summary: A collection of oneshots of those little moments when Nekomamushi and Inuarashi were aboard Moby Dick.
1. Pseudo-Laser Light

Nekomamushi purred to himself as he quietly strolled around the Moby Dick. Now that night has fallen, it was habitual for Nekomamushi to just wander about. The breeze was gently brushing against his fur and the moon peeked out from the clouds every once in a while as if checking in on the large mink. The moon offered a little bit of light and it was a kind gesture but unnecessary; his feline eyes were already doing a wonderful job for him. Nekomamushi could see the vast ocean laid out beyond the ship railings, the masts of the ship towering high above him, the smooth wooden planks beneath him – oh?

Nekomamushi stopped. A little circle of light was slowly bobbing along the floor, towards him. Was it a firefly? Instinctively, he stepped on it. The light immediately slipped off to the side. Perhaps he missed. He tried to step on it again. The light zipped off again. Another step, another escape. And another. And another. Why won't it stay down? The light bobbed up and down around his foot, almost as if it was taunting the proud mink warrior. This. Little. Shit.

Successfully provoked, Nekomamushi stomped on the light, but it sped off. He gave chase. He chased the light all along the floor, turned the corner, chased it along that floor, towards the stern, back towards the bow – almost lunged off the railings trying to turn 180 degrees in time – and then he scuttled about on all fours around the deck in a complex series of circles and figure-of-eights. If it were daytime, bees would have mistakenly thought that this giant, yellow cat was trying to tell them where the honey equivalent to the One Piece was located. Almost dizzy from spinning around so much, Nekomamushi then saw that the damn thing finally stood still, smack in the center of the deck.

He hunched down, tail swishing left and right violently and sharp pupils focused. He leapt, slamming a fist into the floor. The floorboards splintered and cries of confusion from below were colorfully expressed.

"WHAT THE FU-?!"

"Sorry for the intrusion," Nekomamushi shouted down the hole he just made, "but have you guys seen a light anywhere? Tell that piece of crap to come out here and fight me."

Up in the crow's next, Thatch had one hand firmly clasped over his mouth to prevent from laughing too loudly and the other hand holding a hand mirror. Surrounding him was an intricate setup of more mirrors and a lantern. When he saw Marco approaching to see what the commotion was about, he held up the hand mirror once again and adjusted the other mirrors accordingly. This time, he was going to see if he could focus the light onto Marco's forehead… Just to see if Nekomamushi might actually try to punch that pineapple right in the face. This was the best lookout duty ever.

Suddenly, an angry voice rang out from behind Thatch. "I have been trying to find a goddamn mirror for the past hour and you were the bastard who stole them all?!"

Thatch jumped. "Whoa! Izou! Sorry, I had to borrow your mirror for, uh, art purposes?"

Izou snatched the hand mirror out of Thatch's hand and headed back down. "You're patching up the deck first thing tomorrow morning."

"Wait, what? Me? That's not a one man job, Izou! You see the size of that hole?"

"I don't care. You should have known better than to take my mirrors."

"Arrgh!" Thatch sighed, shoulders slumped down in defeat, but mouth curved slightly in a victorious grin. He snickered to himself as Nekomamushi lumbered off to hunt down the little light, which will never appear again. "Worth it."


	2. Howl You Doin'

**Inuarashi isn't a wolf mink, but I was trying to make it work with one of my favorite holidays, the Mid-Autumn Festival (moon cakes are delicious). And then I realized that it was Marco's birthday the following day so that kind of took over... Anyway, hope you have a chance to check out the moon the night of October 4th and eat some moon cakes~**

* * *

"Awoooooohhhhhhrrruuuuuurururururuhhhhhh~"

Thatch sat up. Pretty sure his alarm clock was supposed to make a metallic ringing sound, not the sound of a cow in labor. He looked at the clock. It was silent and sleeping peacefully, unlike Thatch.

"Whooaaaaaruuuuuuuuuuuuuruuruur~"

It sounded like it came from outside. Deciding he should probably investigate this, since ignoring it wasn't going to help him sleep, he headed out to locate the origin of the sound.

He walked out to the deck and saw Marco, Namur, Vista, and Izo sitting around and watching Inuarashi. Inuarashi's beagle snout was pointed towards the sky, emitting the strange sound that woke Thatch up.

Thatch sat down behind the other four men. "So, uh, what is he doing?" he asked them.

Vista leaned back and whispered, "singing. I think."

"Ok. Um. Why?"

Izo handed him a cup of sake and a plate of moon cakes, neatly cut into wedges. "We were admiring the full moon but Inuarashi may have had too much to drink."

Inuarashi's acute sense of hearing picked up what Izou said and he stopped singing momentarily to defend himself. "Awhoooaaaarr-I'm not drunk-ruuuuuuururuur~ It's in my instincts to honor the moon by howling. Whooooarrrrrrawwwwwwoooo-hic-excuse me-oorrruuuuurrrrr~"

"Will he also be the one to lead the happy birthday song for Marco?" Thatch joked.

Marco tried to silence Thatch before the giant dog got any ideas but it was too late. Inuarashi's ears perked up again. "Wait. Marco, it's your birthday?"

Defeated, Marco checked the time. "Well, it's past midnight, so technically it is, yoi."

"Wha-Why didn't you tell me? Okay, this next song is in honor of you, Marco! WHOOAOAOAARRRRR~" and Inuarashi then began to belt out more howling but at twice the decibel as before.

Thatch refilled his cup. "No way I'm listening to this sober."

It wasn't long before Thatch and Inuarashi were both so drunk that the howling then became a duet. Their audience didn't seem to mind; sure, it sounded terrible, but it was nice to just have fun like this.

Thatch shakily stood up. "Since-since-since-since it's your birdday, Marco," he snickered at his own pun, "I got to bake you a cake!" He wobbled towards the kitchen as he talked to nobody in particular. "C'mon, 'sgo bake a birdday cake!" The door to the kitchen closed behind him but it opened back up again a few minutes later.

"Marco! Marco!" Thatch shouted from the door, with a hint of panic in his tone.

"What is it, yoi?" Marco shouted back.

"I-I-I can't find them!"

"Find what, yoi?"

"Eggs! I need eggs for the cake but all I found were dishes!"

Marco sighed. "Have you tried checking the fridge, yoi?"

"Marco, ca-can't you just lay some eggs? Why we got to spend money on eggs when you could just make them?"

If Izo, Vista, and Namur were trying hard not to laugh, they definitely weren't trying very hard. Marco stood up and headed towards Thatch, cracking his knuckles.

"How about I go help you look for them, yoi?"

Nobody needed ears as good as Inuarashi's to hear the sound of Marco's fist making contact with Thatch's jaw.

/

"Morning, Th-whoa, what happened to you?" Ace stared at the giant bruise on Thatch's face.

To be completely honest, Thatch wasn't sure. He only remembered howling and a full moon last night. When he woke up, he had a massive hangover but it didn't hurt as much as his jaw. When he got to the kitchen, he found a bowl of unfinished cake batter and a sign on the fridge, angrily scrawled in Marco's handwriting, which read, "EGGS IN HERE." Thatch had a feeling he should just finish baking the cake and hopefully, it would put the phoenix in a good mood today.

"Morning, Ace. I was pretty drunk last night and I probably fell."

"From where? The crow's nest?"

"I think it was a bit bigger than a crow," Thatch mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing. Hey, want to light these candles for me?"


	3. Farfetched

**I just went back to the Zou story arc and realized that Oden, Nekomamushi, and Inuarashi were on Whitebeard's ship before Oden later became a pirate on Gold Roger's ship. So Ace shouldn't be in these stories...But it's too late and I feel bad if I have to kick him out lol**

 **Happy belated birthday, Inuarashi~**

* * *

"Happy birthday, Inuarashi!" Ace shouted.

"Hrm? Oh. That's right. Today is my birthday, isn't it? Thank you," Inurashi smiled.

"So, what do you want to do for your birthday?" Haruta asked.

"Oh, there is no need for any celebrations," Inuarashi waved a paw. "It is already a wonderful gift that you would allow us to travel with you."

"No! No! We got to do something!" Ace insisted, with Haruta nodding enthusiastically in agreement.

It's really no trouble," Thatch joined in. "We love to party, in case you haven't noticed yet."

"Let's have a bonfire!"

"Of course, the pyromaniac would bring up a bonfire. That's always your first suggestion, Ace, I swear."

Inuarashi chuckled, "A bonfire sounds fun. Let's go with that."

The Moby Dick was then docked at the nearest island, per Ace's order and approved by Whitebeard, and everyone got off to set up for Inuarashi's birthday party. Some went into town to get party supplies and alcohol and others stuck around on the beach to find an ideal area to get a bonfire going. Ace and Haruta rushed off into the forest in search of as many flammable logs they could get their hands on.

/

"One, two!" Ace shouted.

"Buckle my shoe!" Haruta responded.

"Three, four!"

"Knock at the door!" Haruta knocked on a nearby tree.

"Five, six!"

"Pick up sticks!" Haruta jumped up and sliced the tree into multiple pieces.

"Seven, eight!" Ace ran towards the falling logs.

"Lay them straight!" Haruta landed back onto the ground, as Ace swiftly grabbed each log and threw them towards a central pile of accumulated firewood. He threw the last one towards the stack when Inuarashi suddenly leapt out and snatched the flying log between his jaws.

Ace and Haruta stared wide-eyed at the gigantic dog, snout swinging the piece of wood left and right.

"Uh…what brings you here, Inuarashi?" Ace slowly asked. Inuarashi did not immediately answer; he was chomping down happily on the log and his tail was wagging at maximum speed. At some point, he realized that he was just asked a question so he stopped and dropped the log into his paw. He walked over to Ace.

"Oh, my apologies for jumping out like that so suddenly. I became curious of the forest and wandered about when I spotted this thing just flying through the air. Did you drop this?" Inuarashi handed the log back to Ace.

Ace hesitantly reached out for it. He had never seen the duke act like this before. "Um…yeah, I guess… but I meant to do that."

"Would you do it again, then, please?"

Ace and Haruta looked at each other. And grinned.

"Nine, ten," Ace said.

"Do it again!" Haruta finished.

Ace launched the firewood as far as he could and the dog mink was gone in a flash, chasing after the projectile log. He leapt and twisted just right and chomped down on the log. He proudly trotted back to the two guys who were clapping and cheering.

"My turn! My turn!" Haruta put his hands out to receive the log that Inuarashi so swiftly retrieved.

Ace rubbed his chin. "Hmm. I got a great idea! Haruta, can you and Inuarashi head back to the beach with the woodpile? I'm going into town to find something."

So Haruta and Inuarashi both headed back with enough wood for three bonfires. Almost everything was set up so they only had to wait for a few more crewmembers and Ace to return from town. It wasn't long before they arrived, all carrying assorted treats and drinks except for Ace. Ace held up a large, plastic disk to Inuarashi.

Inuarashi sniffed it. "Is this some sort of plate?" he asked.

Ace shook his head. "Nope! It's a Frisbee! Allow me to demonstrate," he curved the Frisbee inward towards his chest and flicked it back out, releasing the disk. "Go get it!"

Inuarashi immediately sped off after the flying, plastic plate. It was amazing; it spins out much farther than a log and flies so effortlessly through the air. He jumped, and snagged the Frisbee in midair, causing his audience to whoop and cheer. One guy opened up the first bottle and Ace lit the bonfire, signaling the start of the party. It was a fun night that night. Lots of drinking, roasting marshmallows, singing songs and dancing, and lots and lots of catch.

"Come on, Thatch. I know you can throw that Frisbee farther than that."

"Yes, but I've been tossing this thing to you for the past hour and my arm is hella sore now," Thatch massaged his wrist as Inuarashi ran up to him, Frisbee firmly trapped in his jaws. Once again, Thatch reached for the Frisbee and tried to wrestle it out with full force. "It doesn't help that we have to have a tug-of-war every time before I can even get the Frisbee back. Why can't you hand it back like a normal person?"

"Fight me for it, you wimp," Inuarashi growled, as he bit down harder on the Frisbee, tail wagging at the anticipation of a new challenge.

Oden walked up to the two, laughing at the scene. "Ahahaha. This looks fun. May I have a go, Thatch?"

"Absolutely! All yours!" Thatch said as he finally wrenched the Frisbee away from Inuarashi and gratefully handed it to the daimyo. "Watch out, it's kind of slobbery."

"Oi, Oden-sama! I'm roasting this next. I'll let you know when it's done," Nekomamushi said as he held up Namur.

"Ahahaha," Oden laughed again while Thatch frantically sprinted over to Nekomamushi to rescue his nakama. "It seems you and Nekomamushi get along every well with this crew, Inuarashi."

Inuarashi smiled as he watched Thatch, Ace, and Haruta try to free Namur from Nekomamushi's grasp. "They're a good-hearted bunch, Oden-sama."

"What an amazing world," Oden remarked. "This sea is so vast that it is even capable of producing good-hearted pirates. Pirates, of all things! The people of Wano would never believe me if I told them we made friends with pirates."

At this point, Marco, Vista, and Izou stepped in to help but Marco made the mistake of flying in as a half-phoenix. Thanks to that, Nekomamushi did let go of Namur, only to focus on catching Marco. Inuarashi stretched and dusted himself off a little.

"One day, Wano's borders will open. We will assist you in any way until that goal is achieved, Oden-sama. But for now, I should assist our hosts in reining in Nekomamushi," he excused himself from the daimyo's presence and headed towards the rowdy group; Marco trying to fend off Nekomamushi, Nekomamushi pouncing everywhere, Ace and Vista trying to hold back Nekomamushi only to get dragged around, and Izou, Thatch, and Haruta trying to shout various directions to Marco to try to help him evade Nekomamushi's attacks.

"Thank you, Inuarashi," Oden smiled. "What a blessing that I have you two as loyal retainers."

* * *

 **We don't know much about Kozuki Oden yet, so I didn't want to put too much of him into the story. I ended up imagining that he was like Mikazuki Munechika from Touken Ranbu but less enigmatic and a little more casual. Why Jiji? idk, I just need more Jiji, especially since Katsugeki/Touken Ranbu ended recently lol I thought it was going to go on longer than Touken Ranbu: Hanamaru but it was only longer by one episode...Anybody know if there's a second season lol I think there's a movie in the works?**

 **Anyway, thank you for reading~**


	4. Purresent

Marco stared at his tiles, his heavy lidded eyes trying not to give anything away. He had a pretty good hand and it looked like he might actually win this round. It won't be enough to win back everything he lost but it's better than losing again. Seriously, what kind of mind does this guy have? He could easily be one hell of a strategist instead of a daimyo.

Namur threw down his discard tile. _Hung jung_. Oh good, there were already two of those out, there's no way-

" _Sic wu_ ," Oden smiled, displaying his hand.

Marco, Namur, and Nekomamushi gaped at Oden's tiles. "Thirteen Orphans?!" they cried.

Oden laughed. "Ahaha, well, I was trying to make another hand but then I kept drawing these tiles so I decided to change my hand around a little to accommodate. You were all throwing out your honor tiles so I surmised that it would only be a matter of time."

Marco stared incredulously at the undefeated victor. Oden probably knew this was going to happen, which is why the man himself insisted on just playing with points. Otherwise, Marco, along with the other two players, would be drowning in debt to this unwavering daimyo. Why the heck did he even suggest playing Mahjong? Oh that's right; because he and Namur were supposed to be distractions.

-Earlier that day-

"Morning, gentlemen," Thatch leaned forward on the table which several commanders gathered around. "As we all know, today is Nekomamushi's birthday and we're going to throw a surprise party for him. After lunch, I will begin making a huge ass sushi cake so I need you guys to split into three groups. First group is shopping-"

Ace's hand shot up. "I volunteer for shopping!"

"Great, thanks, Ace. Go get a giant box to put the cake in, ok? And don't forget your wallet this time. Second group is decorations-"

"I'll handle that," Izo said.

"Thank you, Izo. And finally, the third group is diversion." Thatch looked directly at Namur. "I need someone to keep Nekomamushi away from the kitchen and the deck where we're decorating. Someone who can really grab his attention…"

Izo looked at Namur.

"Someone who Nekomamushi finds absolutely fascinating…" Thatch continued.

Marco looked at Namur.

"Someone who Nekomamushi keeps trying to follow around and literally hunt…" Thatch pressed on.

Vista looked at Namur.

"Someone who looks like food to Nekomamushi…"

Namur sighed. "I'll do it," he grumbled.

"Yeah, good job, Namur!" everyone cheered and applauded Namur encouragingly.

"Marco's helping," Namur added.

Said commander stopped clapping. "Oh, fu-"

"Fantastic!" Thatch pushed the two unlucky souls out the door. "Alright, this surprise party all depends on your guys' efforts so don't let us down!"

-Present time-

Ace whistled happily as he headed back towards Moby Dick. It was a tough shopping trip, trying to find a box with the dimensions that Thatch specified. He had to check every bakery store, toy store, even the post office. He was tired, hungry, and ready to get the party started so that he could eat and then sleep. Or maybe both. At the same time. He knocked on the door to the kitchen.

"Thatch, it's me. I got the goods!" No answer. He opened the door and peeked inside. Thatch was fast asleep at the table. There was a note next to an impressive amount of fish, rice, nori, and cream cheese tastefully arranged into a cake shape. Ace picked up the note and read it.

"For Ace," Ace read out loud. Aw, the poor guy worked so hard to make a sushi cake and even made an extra for him? The firefist happily gobbled up the cake in a matter of seconds. Rejuvenated, Ace wandered out to see how everybody else was doing.

At the sound of the kitchen door closing, Thatch woke up. He looked around and saw the giant box with the ribbon. Oh good, looks like Ace got the note to put the cake in for him. Leaving the gift in the kitchen, he headed out the door towards the deck. Along the way, he told every passerby to spread the word to gather at the deck for the surprise party. Once he got to the deck, he saw that Izo had, of course, done a beautiful job.

"Looks great, Izo!" Thatch complimented, "You definitely have a gift for artful arrangement."

Izo smiled, "This doesn't even compare to ikebana."

"I guess not," Thatch chuckled. "So, anybody know where our diversion team and birthday mink are at?"

Vista gently tugged on his moustache, trying to recall what he knew. "They came up earlier asking if I would like to be the fourth player for Mahjong, but I had already agreed to help Izo with decorating. I think they found Oden to be their fourth player but last I heard, Oden had remained undefeated since they started. They may have stopped now, depending on how bad their debts are."

Thatch snickered. "Poor guys. Oh well, they did a great job. Can you go get them? We're just about ready."

As Vista left, Thatch instructed everyone to hide somewhere, except for Pops. Hiding was not too feasible for a man of that proportion. That's okay, because Thatch could then have Pops be the one to give the signal. Thatch dove behind the old man and waited for the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Oden, remind me to bring you along when we find a casino on the next island, yoi."

"Ahahaha. A casino? I have heard that they play many other interesting games, using cards and chips. Thank you for your invitation. I look forward to it."

"Welcome, Nekomamushi!" Whitebeard rumbled. The end of Whitebeard's bisento tapped the floorboards twice, signaling his sons to burst out.

"Surprise! Happy birthday, Nekomamushi!" they shouted.

Nekomamushi's fur instinctively puffed up in surprise. "Whoa! What in the world?"

Before he knew it, the pirates were all singing happy birthday, bringing out food, and pouring drinks. The massive feline broke out into a Cheshire grin.

"Aw, you guys! Thanks!"

Thatch signaled for one of the guys to grab the gift in the kitchen. "We got you a present!" When it was handed to him, he thought that it felt oddly light but all the sudden excitement clouded his mental alarms and he handed the box to Nekomamushi. Nekomamushi delightedly pulled away the bow and opened the box. He looked inside. He looked back up. He took the box and turned it upside down. Nothing came out.

Thatch froze. And then grabbed Ace. "Ace, what's going on?"

"Uhh did you forget to put the sushi cake in there?"

"I thought you put it in there!"

"What? No, I left it untied so you could put it in there."

"I left a note next to the cake but when I woke up, the cake was gone so I assumed you put it in the box already!"

"Wait, I thought that cake was for me."

"Why the hell would I make a sushi cake for you?!"

"Then don't write a note that only said 'For Ace!'"

"Oh for crying out loud…" Thatch facepalmed, "I meant for you to put the cake into the box for me!"

Nekomamushi suddenly loomed over the two. "You guys…you guys got me a giant box?"

Thatch sighed. "Um. Yeah. Yeah, looks like it."

The next thing Thatch knew, he and Ace were almost suffocating in fur from being scooped up into a giant hug.

"Garchu~! This is the best gift ever!"

"Urgh, what?" Thatch said, confused, as he struggled for air.

Nekomamushi let the two go and stared excitedly at the box. He circled around it a few times. "Do you think I fit in it? I'm going to see if I fit!" And without another wasted second, he began climbing into the box.

Ace watched as Nekomamushi got the top half of his body in. "It's a big box, but I don't know if your whole body ca-whoa!" He flinched slightly when he saw the rest of Nekomamushi's body disappear into the box, tail still poking out like a flag of victory. After some shuffling and shifting, the tail also disappeared and Nekomamushi's head reappeared, purring like a thunderstorm.

And so, the rest of night continued on as a joyous party, with Nekomamushi comfortably nestled inside the giant box. As the last drunk collapsed and the ones who were still sober were either heading to their respective beds or helping to carry the drunk ones away, Thatch walked over to Nekomamushi, still sitting in the box.

"It's pretty late, even for us. You sure you don't want to head to bed, Nekomamushi?"

"I'm already there," the cat mink purred.

"Is that box even comfortable?" Thatch questioned.

"If I fits, I sits."

Since that day, Nekomamushi stopped sleeping in the guest bed he had been provided when they first boarded Moby Dick and much rather preferred the box.

* * *

 **Happy birthday, Nekomamushi~**

 **A few things to clarify:**

 **1\. When they were playing Mahjong, I marked the Cantonese words in italics. I don't really know what they're called in English... I tried looking it up and it was just weird. Maybe because I'm more comfortable to hearing the Cantonese? I don't even know all the terms in Cantonese, honestly. I just needed a game that would take up a lot of time.**

 **2\. Thirteen Orphans is the name of one of the winning hands you can make. It's the only one I know besides _gai wu_ but Thirteen Orphans gives you way more money and I guess I just wanted Oden to wreck everybody.**

 **3\. Ikebana is the Japanese art of flower arrangement.**

 **I don't know when I'll have a new chapter out. I haven't even decided what it would be about. I've been given a lot of ideas, but I haven't been able to formulate a story out of any of them. I apologize in advance.**

 **Thank you for your reviews, follows, favorites, and time :)**


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